Incredibly long day. Been with Pablo, who I am a PA to, and then back home cooking supper and checking emails.

Pablo lives in a beautiful artists community in a nearby hamlet. A wonderful Gothic house with thick stone walls, turrets and secret doorways which lead into hidden walled-gardens.

It has spectacular grounds, acres of rich green lawns and woodland dotted throughout with stark modernistic sculptural pieces.

Pablo comes from a moneyed back-ground, lives on a trust fund with no need to work and suffers from a lack of motivation. Sometimes its hard even to get him out of bed. He shares his bed with a huge leggy Irish wolfhound, Mona.

But today he is up and relatively happy and we spend the next two hours talking through his issues. Then we decide to go for a walk.

It is so breathtaking, every corner you turn holds another treasure:  a perfectly straight avenue of Lime trees or a double cast-metal sculpture of an angular couple, a man and woman, rigidly comfortable within the verdant surroundings. We talk about Pablo's last girlfriend and the need for truth and intimacy in a loving relationship.

'But what do you mean by intimacy Agatha?' he asks.

And I have to tread carefully here, Pablo has been open and happy today, he isn't always like this and I don't want to alarm him by raising subject matter that I know concerns him.

'Well I mean that if you want to be close to another, really close, you have to be very open about yourself and your desires. If you present an idealised or edited version they will never know the real you. If you want true intimacy you have to reveal'.

'Oh yes of course,' he says. But he has no-idea what I mean by 'reveal'.

Pablo has issues with adult feelings. He is 40 years old, has never worked outside of running family investments and spent a large chunk of his life in therapy. He has had a combination of incredible good fortune and appalling bad luck. He is good-looking, kind and intelligent, but he struggles to find meaning in his life and finds it difficult to get close to women.

And what I really mean is sexual intimacy. You have to say what you want and keep nothing hidden. It may feel a bit scary, but if you love and trust your partner, the vulnerability just adds to the sex.

Ever since RS arrived at my door I have become more and more open about what I want sexually. I used to hide behind a certain poise, a demeanor that I imagined was what was wanted. It wasn't.

And all the little fantasies that would flit through my mind over the years have now become reality.

I like to strut around the house dressed in just high heels and panties and serve RS drinks. It seems such a tame thing now but only a couple of years ago I would have felt uncomfortable doing that even though I certainly fantasied about it. Or sitting in an arm chair wearing a dress with no panties. I like doing that for RS. Opening my legs and hitching up my dress so he can see my shaved pussy. I like it when we skype and I gently pull my pussy lips apart to show RS the inner pink fleshy part. It makes me damp thinking about that one.

Going around in a dress with no panties is a big turn-on, its like displaying the goods before the game begins. The easy access means lots of fun before the real action. I like it if RS slips his moistened finger into my pussy while we kiss. But what really excites me is to bend over so RS can see my pussy from behind. I know he  likes this, he says my pussy looks like fruit dangling from the crook of a branch. I like him to put his face right up close to my pussy and kiss and suck the lips.

Or if he's sitting on the sofa when I give him his drink then I like to kneel down and unzip his jeans and pull out his for-sure already hard cock. Then I'll suck him for a while before nipping back to freshen up our glasses.

I crave and love any sort of sexy fun.

Pablo, though, is so caught up in other issues that I'm not even sure if he likes sex or is sexual on any level.